Penny for your thoughts: Man crushes

By Little G on Thursday, October 1, 2009 - 16:52

While all our attention went - understandably so - to the annual AfterEllen Hot 100 list earlier this year, our fellow homos on AfterElton.com invited the ladies who frequent their site to vote on what they think are the hottest (out) men. Although I was too late to put in mine, plenty of women submitted their votes. That resulted in The Ladies' Choice Hot 50.

When I was younger I remember getting surprised looks from people whenever I spoke my mind and said that I found a certain fella attractive. What - being queer meant one suddenly was completely blind to the opposite sex? I think someone forgot to slip me that memo.

There was some kind of separatist thing going on between queer men and women in the late 70s and early 80s, or so I've heard. As I'm a tad too young to know about the exact ideology behind the segregation of sexes, I also think that feminism in those days should not have excluded men. (Wouldn't it have been better to try and educate them?) Having said that, I realize this could be a discussion worth an entirely separate thread on the forum.
Anyway, I've also read about feminists in that era whose lesbianism was a political choice. Others, who fell in love with men, were sometimes ostracized for "sleeping with the enemy". With that in mind I understand the surprised looks I got. Still, a couple of decades later you'd think that would be history - right? ... But I digress.

Photo: playbill.com

I have one man crush. One that's lasted several years now, and his name is John Barrowman.
He's got a positive attitude, a killer smile, a naughty twinkle in his eyes, and a wicked sense of humor. How can that be not attractive? And I think he's easy on the eyes, too. Add to that the fact John's out, and he has a sexy Scottish accent.

John Barrowman and life partner Scott Gill

He's not as famous outside the UK, but I think he surely is gaining popularity thanks to "Torchwood" (the photo spread in OUT magazine two years ago also helped) and "How to solve a problem like Maria?", and - of course AfterElton (John's gracing the no. 2 spot in AfterElton's ladies' version of the hot list AND the same spot in The 2009 AfterElton Hot 100). Speaking of Torchwood; did you watch "Children of Earth"? What did you think of the season, the storyline? I liked this season best - despite the utter crappy ending. (A season 4 was confirmed at the San Diego Comic Con several weeks ago. And who happened to be there to see the kiss between Dr. Who actor David Tennant and John "Captain Jack Harkness" Barrowman with their own eyes?)

Bruce Springsteen at Dutch pop festival Pinkpop

John Cusack was my man crush when I was younger. Let me assure you the infamous boom box scene in "Say anything" had nothing to do with it - although I probably would have picked up my guitar to serenade to hopefully impress Ione Skye. I also greatly admire Bruce Springsteen (not because he got to dance with Courtney Cox), but at the age of 9 I thought he was cool and everything I wanted to become. Yes, you read that right: I wanted to be him. (I was 9, what did I know?) Over 2 decades later I still think of The Boss as the kind of guy you can talk to over beer or coffee or something. He's more like the father I never had, not another man crush of mine. And really, how cool was that MTV Unplugged duet with Melissa Etheridge? I think I had my first fangasm back in the 90s.

Photo: jfxonline.com

I can imagine some of you queer ladies thinking, "Why is Lil' G having a man crush?" Especially when there are plenty of hot ladies out there? To tell you the truth, I don't know. It certainly isn't because it's become fashionable these days for queer ladies to have a man crush (I consider myself pretty fashion impaired). I asked a few of my queer lady friends for their man crushes. A couple admitted that's not really their department, that they don't look at guys that way. That shut me up for a split second, but I guess it's the same with straight guys. Ask them for their man crush, and the majority will tell you they don't look at guys that way. Can I blame art class? I've drawn plenty of nude ladies and dudes in my younger days, which enabled me to look at bodies from an aesthetic point of view as well.

That said, I have never been in the position where I found out I had a crush on a man. But I know it can happen, and it does. When I was younger I frequently hung out with a bunch made up by boys and girls, mostly queer with a few queer friendly straight friends. The one who was dubbed "hard core dyke" (as in: never been with a guy and that's not going to happen ever - she said so herself) actually is in a long term relationship with a man now. None of us judge her (aren't we all in pursuit of happiness?), but imagine the collective drop of jaws when we heard that tidbit at a reunion last year.

Perhaps you have a queer lady friend who suddenly fell for that one guy. Maybe you once had a man crush, or having one (or several) right now. Is there a famous guy (artist/actor/musician) who makes you weak in the knees? What is it that makes a guy attractive in your eyes? Please share! In the meantime I'm going to order John Barrowman's new book...

[Find previous columns of Lil G here.]