Where have all the Asians gone?

wonderful post and it will certainly stay on my mind for some more time, making me think about your questions and points.

Saving Face is one of the loveliest films I've ever seen, and I liked both story lines, the one of the lesbian couple, and that of the mother being pregnant. I bought this film mostly because of Joan Chen (the mother)

I almost cannot start to imagine how tough it must be for most, with all these expectations and traditions being piled on one. Almost, cause I may hardly know any Asians but I know lots of south European people. I don't even want to start any comparision, but I imagine a coming out or breaking out of the expected way a multiple of times harder for Asians.

http://twitter.com/eurout_politics or http://twitter.com/maxim68

hi, i'm doing my duty. the out lesbians of asian descent are concentrated in new york city, the san francisco bay area, los angeles and vancouver, british columbia. if you will pay for the flights, i will send some your way. :)

I actually know several queer asian girls. Most of them are adopted. So I guess they don't have to face the pressure from the asian traditions (growing up in a Norwegain family).

Strange. I never thought of it that way. Thanks for the collum!

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Oh, yes. Did you ever go to a place - I think it was called Norway?
The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy

I guess now that I think about it, the queer scene does often seem to be largely Caucasion.

I do know several queer out Asians. What are we doing, counting them all lol?

Seriously, I can understand how a traditional background can prevent you from coming out, or at least make it a lot more difficult.

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Who doesn't have a blog these days?

This topic is pretty close to my reality. I'm from an Asian country and anytime there's a lesbian/ gay event, the precentage of Caucasians tend to be higher than their actual percentage in our country. More often than not, most of the lesbians and gays here usually hook up with a caucasian. Its not because we want to find a caucasian, its just that if you're running in the queer circle then the likelihood of meeting a caucasian is very high.

For us, if you wanted to live a free and open life as a queer person, then you would most probably move to the West and live amongst caucasians. To the rest of Asian society, you've thrown away your Asian-ness once you come out.

Its a difficult culture to be in if you're queer. Doesn't quite help if you seek solace in the internet where its mostly Western orientated.

I'm still trying to find my way around all of this.

she's the author of 'Light is like Water'

Hi Lil G. Awesome column. Well, there's really no other word to describe your columns. ;) I really enjoyed and I am glad to many people commented. Thanks for the shout out. I feel special. That's pretty much the case in my uni. Most of the out people in our LGBT group are fantastic caucasians. Now that I think of it I do know 1 East Asian lesbian and 1 middle eastern one though.So that's something. The Asian one is pretty cool ans awesome. She wore a tuxedo at one of the LGBT events at our campus and is very politically active.

 My experience in gay clubs is not that much. I have yet to meet a  South Asian lesbian in real life  though. :( I do wish more Asians lesbians would make themselves visible. I've heard in NY and SF there are quite a few queer events catering to specific minority populations. Like there was Indian LGBT week or something and they had a lot of events and a lot of Asian LGBT organisations in the US and Europe. We donn't have that in Australia. Sometimes i wish my parents had migrated to the US or UK instead of Australia.

I've also got to add Shamim Sarif (who is Indian South African) and her partner Hanan Kattan. They're both an awesome power couple and came up with 2 awesome movies. (I can't think straight and The World Unseen). Have you seen them? If not i have a link to them. My first experience of realising who i was came by reading Shamim Sarif's beautiful novel, The World Unseen, set in apartheid South Africa. Urvashi Vaid is a personal inspiration to me. She's in a LT relationship with an awesome women, she's an activist and an awesome lawyer too.

Here's an interesting compilation of the experiences of South Asians and others with the LGBT community in London. Interesting reading.

http://www.planetkiss.org.uk/kissandtell.pdf

It's based on this group called KISS in London, which is basically a mixture of gay/bi women from South Asian, African, North African, Latin-American and Middle Eastern backgrounds who meet up monthly. Some are single, some in couples, some in heterosexual relationships. Apparently, they have 200 plus  people in total. I find sometimes that Caucasian women are scared of me. Scared that I won't be serious about a relationship, scared that there are too many cultural differences separating us, especially since im from a south asian background. For some that is enough to be turned off but others give it a chance. I was thinking about this relationship with this cool European woman i was talking to you about before but it seems like it won't work out. I don't know many single Asians either. So I guess i'm destined to be alone. :/

 I wish movies like Chutney popcorn, Nina's heavenly delights, I can't think straight and the World unseen would reflect real life.

I just registered to this site because I really wanted to comment on your column. I find it especially intriguing because of my own bi-racial heritage and how my Asian half seems to contradict a lot of my European half when it comes to LGBT issues.

The LGBT scene in Asia really is a whole other ball game to the one in Europe. When I was growing up there (and when I say 'growing up', I mean I was there until just last year) I had no clue where to find my queer community because of the extremely traditional and Confucian-oriented society that I was living in. Things are starting to lighten up, with pride parades and film festivals, but things were so suppressed to the point that I had no idea that the part of the city I was living in had an entire neighbourhood devoted to the gays called Homo Hill. I must have walked that hill a thousand times, and I had no clue.

Then I come to Belgium to explore my other half, and suddenly, it doesn't seem to matter as much. I see rainbow flags, LGBT couples, LGBT-related stories on the news...it's a completely different world. Even the conservatives are willing to talk about LGBT issues, something I find is extremely lacking in a lot of East Asian countries.

I think the problem is that the queer Asian community is stuck in a cycle. They don't have many Asian role models to look up to because few are willing to come out under the thumb of society's and their parent's expectations. Then naturally, there aren't any role models to facilitate coming out for future crops of queer Asians. Everyone is then stuck in the closet, wanting a different life, but never really getting to connect with a community that understands these pressures.

It's easy to see that the lesbian community is very much dominated by Caucasians. You can probably name ten (white) lesbian entertainers off the top of your head. Can you name ten Asian entertainers? Five? Not that I don't love Ellen and Portia, but it's hard for Asians to come out if they don't see fellow Asians successfully come out and live a happy life. Of course, the lack of high-profile LGBT Asians is also a result of the lack of Asians in media PERIOD.

So yeah, just my two cents. I really wish that in the next few years, we'd get more Asians coming out and/or showing some support for the LGBT community. Traditions are all nice and fine, but they don't need to exclude everyone that is the least bit different to them.

Thanks for the column - it was a fun read.